I think I should stop counting days. Day 18 it is and I can’t believe that I have been writing since the last 18 days. I have never ever been more regular or consistent.
I wake up and listen to the radio. I feel the existential crises. I have left my job. Never thought that living life could bring so much guilt while losing your soul in the name of gain is more acceptable in this world. I struggle to remember a thing for which I can be grateful for today. Well there are a number of things but I don’t want to remember or feel them. I feel like quitting on this project but then that would make a bigger loser. I continue to fight with the thought that I’m not losing.
But then I console myself that its okay to lose. Sometimes we don’t wish to fight. Sometimes its best to get away from the battles that we don’t wish to fight. The tide is running low today and the winds are not favouring my flight. But the time will change and my wings will shine. I will go to a land where there are no dilemmas, where I don’t have to fight. A land where I can follow my dreams at ease, without a rush, without pretence, without negativity, for the love of it.
With this hope I will continue with life today. May these breaths become easy. May we all live today.